Friday 24 August 2012

Cover Your Eyes!

Much like real parents, writes AV Club's Sean O'Neal, the Parents Television Council continues to walk into the nation's rec rooms and shriek upon discovering that bras are off, leading to an awkward, embarrassing-for-everyone lecture that's once again been conveyed in its annual report on TV nudity. In short, everyone is going to get pregnant and have to drop out of school and miss prom, because the last year has seen a shocking 6,300-percent rise in depictions of full-frontal nudity, an increase that is tantamount to the networks replacing all commercials with lusty, lingering close-ups of nipples and scrotums, basically.

According to the results of research analysis by the PTC, there were a total of 64 cases of people going au naturel on the five major networks - CBS, NBC, FOX, ABC, and the CW - in the 2011-12 season. The Daily Mail reports that figure stands in remarkable contrast to the single instance of full-frontal nudity over the same time period the year before. Perverts may argue that, in the realm of regular, society-destroying dirty boobies and dangly bits, there was only a 407-percent increase of incidents, bringing us only 407 percent closer to total moral decay, reasons O'Neal. But most troubling of all, the PTC insists— in a tone of voice that lets us know it loves us and this is for our own good— is the rise in usage of blurring or pixilation that "could be perceived to be a closer simulation of complete frontal nudity, given that the viewer is seeing all flesh tones," and which could influence impressionable young people to begin experimenting with sex and Photoshop.


The slow trend from Buck Rogers to 'buck naked' began in the '90s with shows like NYPD Blue, but has become old-hat for current titles like The Office, Two and a Half Men, The Bachelor, and Don't Trust the B ---- in Apartment 23, all cited in The PTC study. In all, the analysis recorded 76 incidents of 'full nudity' on 37 shows during the 2011-12 prime-time network lineup. During the prior season, or from 2010-11, PTC notched just 15 instances on 14 shows. The study, which tracked TV shows from September 1 to May 31, drew the distinction between full nudity and full-frontal nudity.


Indeed, in nearly all of the suspiciously specific number of "76 incidents of full nudity in 37 shows," the various sin-mounds were covered in hot, fleshy pixels, rather than the old-timey chastity belts of black bars that once prevented everyone from imagining what the human body looked like naked. As proof, notes O'Neil, the PTC has not only compiled this treasure trove of links to blurry naked people on the TV with all the non-naked stuff cut out—like a porn loop for those with a digital distortion fetish— it's also provided meticulous descriptions of many other incidents that you should now imagine being read aloud in your mother's voice, so that you'll never find anything sexy ever again.

The networks used various techniques to blur character's sex organs from the audience's view, the study showed. The numbers exclude any animated nudity or suggested full nudity in which a person is assumed to be nude on the top, but a portion of their body is blocked by a conveniently-placed table or sofa, for instance. However, the study did include scenes in which individuals are completely unclothed and only the sexual organ is blocked from the viewer.

The study focused on prime-time, broadcast television, including network specials, but excluding news and sports. Surprisingly, the study stated that almost 70 per cent of the scenes showing full nudity during the 2011–12 study period were on shows that aired before 9pm and as early as 7pm. In comparison, a half of the full nudity scenes recorded aired after 9pm the previous year.

Of the five major networks, NBC actors most often appeared in the buff, with the study recording 37 occurrences of its characters going nude during the 2011-'12 prime-time season. Second was ABC with 24 recorded instances, while CBS came in third with eight cases of full nudity. Fox and the CW brought up the rear, so to speak, with three and four instances, respectively.

And just in case you think pixilated butts and boobs are all anyone has to write alarmist press releases about, the PTC has also compiled this helpful show-by-show indecency guide, which will tell you exactly what's wrong with series like New Girl ("Sex is the show’s main problem, with many prolonged references to sex and anatomy"), Happy Endings ("Language includes 'ass,' 'slut,' 'bitch,' 'douche,' 'hell,' and 'skank'), and Community ("Foul language includes the words 'ass,' 'hell,' 'douche bag,' 'piss,' 'crap,' and 'damn'), and also tell you why none of this is "cool" like your friends say.

In an effort to stave off our "douche"-laden descent into moral turpitude, the PTC has asked that you write your congressperson and call on them to help combat the threat of blurred nudity, in between all that stuff about the economy and war. It's also instituted a new rule that everyone's hands have to be visible at all times in the TV room. And they better not be pixelated. By way of example, and in light of the findings, PTC president Tim Winter sent a letter to congressional members asking them to urge the Federal Communications Commission to move forward in clearing the backlog of 1.6 million unadjudicated indecency complaints. In their analysis, PTC also found trends towards more full-frontal nudity, full nudity at earlier hours of the evening, and a clear failure on the part of the TV networks to use their content ratings system to warn parents. The following are excerpts from PTC’s letter to congressional members:

"In 2006, Congress passed the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act in response to growing outrage from the American people over the broadcast networks’ abuse of the publicly-owned broadcast airwaves. Yet since that time, we have seen a concerted effort on the part of the networks to constantly push the outer limit of what may be considered appropriate for the broadcast medium.

"Contrary to what executives from NBC, ABC, and CBS told you in 2004 and 2005, and contrary to what attorneys for the networks recently argued before the Supreme Court, they are not acting in the public interest; they are aggressively pursuing a dangerous agenda to completely obliterate any remaining television taboos.

"During prime time hours across all broadcast networks, use of the bleeped or muted f-word increased from 11 instances in 2005 to 276 instances in 2010 – an increase of 2,409%... It’s not just the language that’s getting coarser. PTC research has found a staggering increase in the frequency and explicitness of pixelated nudity on the broadcast networks during primetime hours.

"The networks have made it abundantly clear they have no intention of respecting either the broadcast licenses they’ve been granted or the public in whose interest they are licensed to serve. Therefore the American people, whose values are being assaulted on a nightly basis, must insist that the Federal Communications Commission vigorously enforce broadcast decency laws, as mandated by the Congress and affirmed by the Supreme Court.

"We call on you to give the FCC your full support for decency enforcement; to urge the FCC to move forward with all due haste in clearing the backlog of 1.6 million unadjudicated indecency complaints; and to give the FCC the tools it needs to ensure enforcement actions are meaningful and appropriate… Because Our Children Are Watching."

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