Californication S05E04

"Jesus fucking christ. I think you just added seven years to my life..."

Justified star Natalie Zea returned to Californication with a very spirited performance in “Waiting for a Miracle.” Earlier this season, Hank woke up with Kali giving him a blowjob. However, it was only a dream. In this week's episode, he woke up with a real message from his ex-girlfriend Carrie; the girl with the bottomless libido who just wants to get "drunk on cock". After setting fire to his apartment in New York, she was bringing her foul mouth and nutty persona over to the west coast. Specifically, Carrie said that she had a “surprise” for Hank. Shortly after the doorbell rang. Hank went to get it and found an envelope with panties in it. Then, Carrie jumped out from the bushes to surprise him. After her explosive breakup with Hank in the Season 5 premiere, she was in much higher spirits and elated to see her ex.

Carrie's in town for a potential job opportunity (a blond, hapless romantic with a career in print journalism—is that you, Carrie Bradshaw?), but she's really there because she's a sucker for love and thinks maybe, just maybe, Hank has matured enough to give her psycho ass a fair shot this time. But as we all know, Hank only has room in his heart for one woman, and it's not Carrie. "Are we really going to stand here wasting our time with chitchat when we could be fucking each other's brains out?" she asked before the two got down to business. While Carrie was on top, finishing up an orgasm, Hank was lying in bed apathetically. She was basically having sex with herself and Hank’s unthinking erection. Still, she loved it. “It just fits so nicely inside there,” Carrie said before rolling off of Hank and suggested that she would make a plaster cast of his penis, since it was a perfect fit, and then create a dildo from that cast. Hank wasn’t shocked by the comment at all and followed it up with the suggestion that she should make a second one so that he could give it to Charlie. Nice.


All of which only serves to set up Karen’s closing monologue in which she expresses genuine concern for Hank’s pattern of impulsive flings and warns him against holding a torch for their love, as a metaphorical gauntlet for Californication itself. If we, the audience, are waiting for Mr. Moody to lick his wounds, grow up, and move on, or, alternately, woo his ex-wife back into a passionate but destructive tango, we may as well hold vigil for the Virgin Mary.

Television Series: Californication (S05E04)
Release Date: January 2012
Actress: Natalie Zea
Video Clips Credit: Deep at Sea










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